Puking into the Valentines Day – A special report on the worst boat ride of my life.

As if this separation isn’t enough – Army always has with it strange ways to enhance endurance of its troops. Think about it, its Valentines day and I couldn’t have a better idea on my mind than to puke my colons out. And it would be unfair to thank Hon. Maj. Sabarinath and the Hon. EXO for making our dreams come true this day. All three of us – Sharyf, Gagandeep and yours truly, along with our ill-fated buddies had that “experience you need to feel”, in what is best encapsulated in the words of an anonymous source (anonymous because he begged me not to put his name here, and even if you guessed it right, there are no cookies for you. So don’t. Thank you.), “This is the classical example of UTGM and I still cant understand why anybody had to launch it”. Just before I could agree totally to that, there comes our dear khalsa with the line only he can articulate best – “B.C .– Choos maccha di yaar!”
While I was still trying to get my senses back and pull me from my utter misery, I felt like Tom from Tom and Jerry with my eye balls spiralling in the orbit. Though I tried all possible medical tricks to combat sea-sickness, I knew I was wasting my time because I was already 3 times down and little did I know that there were more to come – many more. Well, I puked out every single molecule of whatever formed the gastric content of mine then and to make things more emotional – the gastric content also filled both my nostrils. All thanks to the awesome pitching the ship did when I was puking. Now tears rolled down my eyes for what I still cant remember – was it the nasal content that was gastric or the painful truth of the situation. Times like this really don’t roll, do they? I can bet that that 04 hours were the longest four lours of my life.

And Danny Boyle would make his next movie named 04 hours and it would cast 03 super heroes if he knew what we put up with. Anyways, as they say – when you are in your worst time, worser thoughts come into your head. Now don’t laugh when you read what came into mine. I thought that some shark nearby would smell all the blood laced content I just puked out and would come and eat us all up and thus Valentines day would be my Death Anniversary. Now what is important to note here is that – to make some sane person imagine such serious shit, think what he went through. Again, at this juncture – I would love to thank everybody who contributed in making us LIVE this experience.
And then I looked at my watch and saw I have crossed my half time. I really wasn’t sure – the light at the end of the tunnel – was it the exit or the light of the train that was gonna run over us. But this much I know – the sight of the sailor who put the ladders down for us to climb up after the most gruelling four hours, was the most beautiful sight I have seen in a long time and something I would cherish for a long time. And when I had to say good luck to Gagan who was next in the slaughter list, I couldn’t imagine the shit he would have to swim through too, especially when the sailors told me just an hour before that the sea is just gonna get worse. And as imagined, Gagans buddy lived my nightmare – fully and worse.
This experience has also ignited fresh adulation for the war ships and the enduring men at sea. Sharyf puts it : “I never realised the true value of a ship journey until I, experienced the LCA. Now I value every moment spent on the ship.”

For those who dint know : LCA:Landing craft assault, UTGM:Udhte teer gaa** mein.