This wait

Dearest lil hun,

You are 37+6 weeks old today and mommy is looking not-so-happy with this wait now. Infact so is daddy. We cant wait to see you now baby. Please try and come out as soon as possible baby. Your grandma was discussing about inducing labour maybe early next week, because she does not want you to hang in there way too long, but I wonder, why not tomorrow?

On the other hand, as much as your mom wants you out into the world, she does not want any artificial intervention. She doesn't want any induction, she doesn't want any caesarian section. But to tell you frankly, I for one dont think that your mom will have the courage to go through the whole labour, because she has a very low tolerance for pain. And it isn't her fault because as much as she wants it, I know she wont be able to take it.

Normal labour or otherwise, I just want to see you fast. I think I am frustrated now. Sorry. :(

Love and waiting,

Daddy.

Happy Father's Day - Thank you Dad(s).

I want to take a moment out to thank two of the most important people in my life on this day. 

My Acchan, who is now in heaven and is watching over us to give us courage and make sure that we dont lose our way. I will always always be grateful for you for trusting in me so as to give me your precious daughter as my wife. I will never ever forget what a wonderful and gentle man you were - always smiling, always forgiving, always loving and never complaining. These are values I kept imbibing from you every single day you were with us. And I would be a more than blessed if I could become half of what you were in that qualities you had. I miss you, your absence, your love - today and forever.

My Dad - for being the light of my life. My inspiration. My trust. My protector. My guide. My God. Thank you for making me what I am today. Thank you for always giving me the best of everything no matter what sacrifices you had to make to provide me with those. Daddy, I have and always will love you in a way I can't explain with words. You have been, are and will always be my HERO. My Daddy.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the both of you. Everyday is father's day for children with dads like you around.

Mystic Moonshine

In the last night here I sat and looked at the skies above, 

It is here that I spend many a night, alone, cold and away from love. 

I watched the moon, how alone he would stay awake, 

Shining, shimmering, never complaining, till the dawn would wake. 

I wonder how it would be to be like the moon, 

Alone, cold, but still with a radiance so bold. 

The clouds came and tried to kill the praise, 

But how he would not give reason for disgrace, 

Still shining bright, yet ever so alone in the night. 

How we glorify the sun for its endless radiance, 

And how we forget about the silver blanket, for not just once. 

Yet, there he stands – in beauty, in duty, in perfect balance, 

With an enigmatic mystery that would never change.

Friendship Day. 2011.

A Friendship Day just passed by. So they say. As much as I wasn't aware that it had come, I dont care that its gone.

For people who know me that would be a shocker. The gone year, 2010, I had written something about this - Friendship day is here again, where I had mentioned about that lump in my throat when I thought about its significance, about the wrist bands, etc etc. And then, there is 2011.

How things change for me. And for that matter, how it changes for everyone. And keeping that point as the locus, 1 year is a long time I guess, to change perceptions on various topics. But also less, compared to your thoughts on the same for nearly 27 years as your opponent. Well, the truth is that, my perspectives have changed and I am happy that it finally did.

In college, I used to get bands for my friends, pack secret gifts, text them a note/poem that I'd have written, make a painting for them in paper or glass, given them a surprise visit or maybe send some flowers or cookies. I use to do all that I could afford to do. I wouldnt have the money to gift everyone something, but that is where I used poems/texts/paintings. I was a man of gifts. I love choosing gifts for my friends. I basically appreciate my own thoughtfulness in matters of the heart. Hahaha. My friends on the other hand knew my obsession with gifts and they would choose to go get me gifts voluntarily than to be emotionally blackmailed into doing the same, if they didn't. Well, that was me. Now, I think it was stupid, but then, it was fun, because even after forcing a few friends to get me something, I'd text them a thank you message appreciating their love and how touched I was by the 'surprise gift'. Hideous!

Today, more than 80% in that list is just someone with whom I had good memories with. The remaining either dont talk to me anymore for reasons unknown to them also, talk to me but have got so busy with their own lives that the gift-story became a thing of the past, go ahead and get engaged/married and dont even inform me or, they stick by as a well-wisher or good friend - too mature for the band episodes to ever repeat.

And surprisingly, nothing, nothing of this matters to me too anymore. And maybe I have become the same 'mature' they were at a point, and become 'too busy with my own life' to rejoice in that blissful feeling. Or it could be that my wife and I had been through so much in the past few months, with just the company of our family and two friends, that we made a shell that our friends couldnt penetrate into. So its not anybody's fault, its just reality.

Reality isnt always the best of things, but it sure is the only real thing. Today, I know who that friend of mine is, who'd be there for me no matter what. Yet, with or without him, I still have my wife - my best friend, my guide. So I would never actually die out of friends, and for the same reason, no matter how much I ignore voluntarily or otherwise, I will always have a reason to celebrate Friendship Day whenever I want to. And that is a good thing too.

With that, Belated Friends Day.

Thats my BESTEST friend, my BFF - right there in the pic with me.

Learning from my Wife

Babi never fails to surprise me in every walk of life.

The journey with her is a walk with pleasant surprises. And I know I am blessed to have her company and unconditional love and support. And I wonder what I had done in this life or the ones before to deserve someone like her. Lord, thank you.

Over the last few days we have been shuttling from one hospital to other taking Babi's dad - he being unwell. And when I say unwell, I mean - really really unwell. There have been times when we werent really sure if there was light at the end of the tunnel even. But to say the least, the clouds have moved and sun seems to be shining.

Babi as a person is a very very emotional one. Everyone knowing her knows beyond doubt that her threshold to crying is like the super-minimum. Someone who can cry seeing the most trashy movie and watching someone in pain. When we had come face-to-face with the situation above, I really thought that Babi would lose all hope and would sink into depression. But the way she handled the situation left me wonder-struck. She realised the extend to which her family counted on her and she literally grew upto the situation. She wouldnt shed a single tear in front of her folks, she would run around the whole day - sometimes to get medicines, sometimes to get food/water, sometimes for blood reports.. she would do it all day and then retire to bed only to wake up early morning to repeat the process. This coming from the same person who used to tell me that waking up early in the morning was impossible for her. She is basically more of a night-person you see. And when there would be nobody around and we were alone, she would burst into tears and ventilate to void the tension and then she would get back into nursing her dad.

I know now that when we come face to face with adversity, the great Lord gives us the courage to fight it too. I have seen it right in front of my eyes. Through Babi. I know beyond doubt that whatever progress my FIL has shown over the days is simply because of the love, care and dedication that Babi has showered on him. She would pray all day for him in such a way that God had no option but to listen to her cries. All I want right now is that her dad gets back on the horse asap because I miss seeing her smiling. I miss seeing her happy and being her actual self. I miss being myself with the real her around. I miss watching her being a baby with her dad. I miss being happy. I miss being whole.

I am sure things will be better soon. I know. She will make it happen for us. Babi will. God speed.

Wifey goes home! :(

Tomo my wife goes home.
With her sister who was staying with us the last 03 weeks.
She gets married on 12th June.
I will see Mrs. B only on 10th now.
Gonna miss her.
Final.
Over and out.
:(