Balding Gracefully

Hair and birds have a lot in common. They both seem to migrate south at some point – the only difference being that the hair isn’t coming back north.
As a bald guy there are some advantages. I never have a bad hair day or have to worry about buying the right kind of shampoo. Another upside is that if Star Trek was ever remade in Hindi – I could play Captain Jean-Luc Picard’s character.

Who am I kidding – of course Anupam Kher would get the part.

Anyway, I want to send a message out to the men with full heads of hair. We bald guys don’t really care for you. We may be your friend in public and even go and grab a beer with you – but we do not like you.
Don’t ask why – that’s just how it is.
But you know who we really loathe? Bald guys who wear wigs. Are you seriously that ashamed of being bald that you’re willing to put a mop on your head? I shake my head in despair at you people.

Or for that matter bald guys who get transplants. Anyone know how transplants work? They pluck hair from the back of your head and implant it in the front. It’s an economist’s wet dream come true – ideal re-allocation of resources.

There is another category of guilty bald men: The comb over. Like the men with wigs, you’re not fooling anyone, just delaying the inevitable “Oh my your completely bald!” scenario. But I don’t mind these guys as much, they have their own problems.

Like wind, for example.

Being bald is not about making a statement (yes I’m looking at you Diandra Soares) but just being you as nature intended. Losing hair is not as bad as it seems, especially compared to losing an eye or an arm.

So for the love of God – take that God damn wig off.